Google+ Q Dot: Love aint that ladies

Monday, June 25, 2012

Love aint that ladies

Every woman I know has had a failed relationship. The one common thread between them all? They all expected "love" to be something it wasn't. The other common thread between them all? Their definition of love sounded like something from a romantic comedy. While they say real life imitates movies I can't ignore the truth in that statement - it's still imitation. If you want your love to be real, why expect it to be an imitation of something that isn't real in the first place? So then it's double fake!

Then i'll hear...well, I know love isn't like the movies. But I argue, you still have a desire for it to be, dont you? In all fairness ladies you can't help it, It's how little girls were brought up in our society. Little girls from the time they're born are sold the idea of new love not sustaining love.  The idea of romantic love starts with a baby doll, then Ken and Barbie, then Prince Charming, Sleeping Beauty and knights in shining armor. It's not that these things don't and can't exist in real relationships it's what happens when the new love feeling goes away that complicates things. When romantic love becomes working love, when Ken and Barbie become Ken and Barbie and little Kenny and little Susie and when Knights in shining armor become Nights in fuzzy pajamas. Little girls are never told fairy tales of relationships with ups and downs, bills and family members who don't like you and crazy ex flings or girlfriends/boyfriends and when it gets to be too much, without fail, not even knowing the reasons why they seek what they seek, my lady friends go off and try to find it elsewhere only to find that the feeling is always, always, always fleeting.

That new love is like an energy drink. When you're on it, you're high, giddy, excited all the time and nothing can bring you down but anyone who's had a red bull knows that eventually that shit wears off, you come crashing down off the high and things become unpleasant but the high was so good you want to get it again. So what do you do? Go get another energy drink. Sometimes two or three if one isn't enough. It becomes a vicious cycle and sooner or later most all of my female friends have become addicted to that brand new feeling.  Trying to find a way, through different relationships, to keep "new love" lasting forever.

Real love is like a good meal. Like a really good Thanksgiving or Christmas meal with lots of family and people you appreciate around. The whole experience is satisfaction and with the right cook in the kitchen you can't get enough of it even when you're full. It's so good you take an extra plate home with you and pile it high so it lasts for a whole week and even when you're done you're already thinking about the next holiday meal.  The feeling isn't fleeting. The feeling isn't high. The feeling is right. It's a feeling of completion that you didn't even know you needed. The feeling is satisfaction, it's comfort. It's pleasing, it sustains you and if the loving is really good it'll have yo ass sleeping. lol. You anticipate it because you know what to expect. You spend the day daydreaming about turkey and stuffing and candied yams and mac and cheese. You know that feeling when you have those good holiday dinners. It's not blind excitement. It's not giddy. It's real.

It certainly isn't an imitation of something that's fake to begin with. Daughters should get their ideas of love from Jesus not Hollywood. And while we should all strive to keep our relationships exciting and adventurous they're by no means like the movies.